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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 81: Curacao on Top |  | |
Issue 81: Curacao on Top
03-08-2010 10:26
Welcome to the Procyon Herald!
The 3874th annual Academy Awards are in the books, and as expected, Curacao Hilton’s leaked sex video swept the board, even upsetting Cameron James’s ‘Avatar 19’ to win the award for Best Picture. Asked to comment on her tinsel-filled evening, Curacao remained circumspect: “It was hot.” She went on to say that no sequel was currently planned, but neither would she rule out another leaked sex video at some point in the future.
In other news, Procyon has been witness to an accelerating real estate boom, as clans race to construct their clan bases and upgrades such as weapons platforms, communications satellites, and asteroid miners. So far, we’ve seen bases go up in Tau-23, Tau-37, and Omicron Theta. The 4th Reich’s base in Omega-41, christened ‘Konigstein’, is considered extremely dangerous, and will fire on most pilots, on sight.
Though they claim not to be inspired by Hitler’s 3rd Reich, members of the {4thR} nevertheless continue to use the Nazi salute ‘sieg heil!’. The clan has also declared enmity towards no fewer than 29 other clans on the server, including the Procyon Herald – which could make for some rather awkward moments in the Freeport 5 bar.
As if to underscore the point, the {4thR} went on a rampage last night, engaging Codian Enterprises in Omega-11 before sweeping into Tau-23 to attack the Seekers. They went on to raid Omicron Theta not once, but twice. Are we witnessing a Freelancer manifestation of Lebensraum? Perhaps it’s too early to say, but we’ll continue to cover events as they unfold.
Also in the news, the Herald has learned that Saturday, March 20 has been scheduled as the tentative date for the upcoming Battle for Tau-37. The Admin team encourages everyone to participate, and promises to kill us all “quickly and mercifully”. We shall see, Admins. We shall see…
Lastly, we’d like to take this opportunity to announce a recent addition to the Procyon Herald. Starting today, a new section of the Herald has been added – “On Assignment”. This new section will include reports from our investigative journalist, Bob Olson – reports which are based on actual server clans and/or personalities (so, not quite ‘fiction’) and yet, are more involved than a regular issue of the Herald. Think of them as Procyon’s equivalent to 60 Minutes, and you’ll get the right idea.
That’s it for this issue. Remember folks, in the words of the late Oscar Wilde, “Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.” For the Herald, this is Ravenwood, signing off.
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