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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 10: Enemy at the Gates |  | |
Issue 10: Enemy at the Gates
10-18-2006 10:22
“Aaaarrrrr! Curse that name! He be shark bait, that scalleywag!” Yes folks, the leader of the Alliance, Vice Admiral Mank, has secured yet another fan on Procyon. This time, {Brigantines} Capt., who recently completed a solo sweep of terror through the inner systems on his way to Gamma, where he’s since been camped out, chasing plunder, pinching wenches’ bottoms and plying his men with liquor (the lucky sods). You may recall the last time the dread pirate surfaced, during the Crete Rally when he tangled with Capt. Jade, and sent both of them to Davey Jones’s locker. Mank, meanwhile, appears to be succeeding in his quest to foil the piratical elements on Procyon (or at the very least, annoy the hell out of them). Indeed, the admiral’s name was recently put forth as a candidate to succeed Commissioner Gordon as the head of Liberty Police Incorporated. Sources say the Immortals are behind the bid, and have contributed substantial sums of liquid cash to the leadership campaign. We can only speculate why.
And speaking of the Immortals…certain sources (who must remain nameless) have suggested that Procyon might soon be witness to a great deal more Immortal activity than has hitherto been the case. It seems the server has at long last equaled (and indeed surpassed) it’s mod-inflicted brethren, Roleplay LV, in terms of population and general popularity. The rise of Procyon has inevitably drawn attention to its strongest clans, and Immortals have been witnessed discussing their chances against the OuTcAsTs and Org of Procyon, in a head-on fight.
“Let them eat cake,” stated Conseco, quoting Marie Antoinette whilst seated behind his mahogany desk, stroking the chin of his pure-bred Persian and looking every bit like Dr. Claw of Inspector Gadget (does anyone else remember Inspector Gadget??). “The OuTcAsTs will carve out their nomad guts, and pin them to the gates of Tau-23 as a warning to others.” Them’s fightin’ words, folks. The only question is: When? Surely the Immortals won’t shy away now…
Perhaps sensing that the proverbial shit was about to hit the fan, various Allied ships have been moved away from the outer systems, towards the relative safety of the interior. Allied officials, when questioned, described the move as nothing more than a routine redeployment to counter a recent spate of pirate activity in Magellan. But we know better. Magellan beer is some of the finest to be had, and you simply cannot beat the chicken wings on Mactan. Asked to comment, Vice Admiral Mank simply offered the following: “Something BIG is going to happen on Procyon within the next couple of weeks, and perhaps as soon as this weekend.” Stay tuned.
In real estate news, Tau 37 is NOT under attack. That’s right. It is simply being purchased by the OuTcAsTs for 6 million credits. OuTcAsTs, however, don’t do anything without firing off a few kraken, so the purchase was made conditional upon a declaration of war, and a home inspection.
That’s it for this edition of the Herald. Stay tuned for more developments as they happen.
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