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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 13: OuTcAsTs Cast Out? |  | |
Issue 13: OuTcAsTs Cast Out?
10-30-2006 08:58
It is a dark time for the Alliance. Striking from their hidden base, sinister agents working for the Immortals have unleashed a series of raids on allied factions throughout the galaxy. The onslaught could not have come at a worse time, as rumours and accusations of security breaches within the Allied High Command recently came to a boiling point, resulting in the simultaneous ejection/withdrawal of the heavily populated Spartans clan from the Grand Alliance. With their numbers allegedly approaching 30 members, the Spartans constituted the largest faction within the alliance, and it’s not certain what effect their departure will have. Will the house of cards come tumbling down? Or will Vice Admiral Mank find a way to salvage the situation?
Meanwhile, the Immortal roster on Procyon continues to grow, spreading like a hideous, cancerous, malignant tumor. Their numbers have now hit a full dozen, and it’s feared this might be the thin edge of the wedge – an advance guard sent to establish a beachhead as it were, paving the way for the rest of their undead hordes.
With the apparent implosion of the Alliance, it might appear that Procyon’s last hope of deliverance from impending Immortal domination would come from an unlikely quarter: the combined might of both the OuTcAsTs and the Org. However, the OuTcAsTs have all but disappeared from Procyon’s skies. Whether they have gone to ground, surveying the situation from the relative anonymity of smurfs is not known. But this much is certain: OuTcAsT activity on Procyon has been at an all-time low. Just the other day in fact, I flew all over Tau-23, completely unchallenged, searching in vain for an OuTcAsT who might comment on the latest developments. None were to be found.
Procyon Administration announced a new initiative on the War on Dockrape this week, informing citizens of a newly adopted FLHook measure which will all but eliminate the possibility of citizens being jumped before they have complete control of their ships. It’s believed that this measure will safeguard the interests of all but the least competent, so I suppose I myself am still at risk.
It should be noted that the new safeguards will not prevent ships from flying into planets and destroying themselves. Herald sources were on hand this week to witness a convoy of two LPI freighters as they recklessly flew into Planet Manhattan, not bothering to wait for an available docking ring. It was later confirmed that a sale at Krispy Kreme doughnuts had just been announced over the neural net, and the folks at LPI were in a bit of a rush to get there.
On a sad note, the winner of last year’s Interstellar Beer & Ale Festival’s Death Match Keg-stand contest was pronounced ‘dead-on-arrival’ at Baden Baden General Hospital this week. Gunther Meinlager was attempting to break his own consumption record at the Rheinland Oktoberfest Beer Olympics when he choked on a bratwurst, lost his balance and staggered into a brewing kettle. Meinlager gave it the old college try, attempting to drink his way to freedom, but was overcome by a lethal dose of yeast and hops. While his departure is no doubt untimely, Meinlager always said that drowning in a lake of beer was the way he wanted to go. Services will be held in memory of Meinlager across Procyon. Gunther, here’s to you!
For the Procyon Herald, this is war correspondent Ravenwood, signing off.
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| Captain Jade on 10-30-2006 13:38:16 | | |
Um, I don't think that I've imploded. :) Flame: please do not make generalized comments about the Scorps when it only pertains to a few members. Ty | | | | |
| Caboose on 10-30-2006 22:10:07 | | |
Death by hops...it seems so glorious... | | | | |
| Growltiger on 10-30-2006 23:03:08 | | |
Krispy Kreme? What about Time Hortons, Ravenwood? You ARE Canadian, aren't you? | | | | |
| Chiyo on 10-31-2006 10:21:56 | | |
Beer Fest was a great movie. | | | | |
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