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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 39: Hard Times |  | |
Issue 39: Hard Times
01-31-2007 13:41
Welcome to the Procyon Herald. Preparations are underway for the much anticipated “Gamma Bowl II”, scheduled to take place this coming Sunday night, immediately following the Plasma Bowl in which the Cinderella story Pansies of Pittsburgh will face the heavily favoured Cavaliers from Cambridge. Like its predecessor, Gamma Bowl I, Gamma Bowl II will be a player vs. player tournament, just outside Planet Crete. Organized and hosted by the Avid Tokers, spectators and participants alike should have no trouble getting their hands on the finest Gamma ganja available in Sirius. Also available for purchase will be commemorative pipes, bongs, incense sticks, scissors, lighters, rolling papers and t-shirts featuring the Avid Toker clan logo and the words “I was smokin’ at Gamma Bowl II”. Merchandisers are expecting to make record profits at the event.
In other business news, OBE Chief Executive Officer Omega Black announced today his plans to publish an official list of deadbeat debtors who have reneged on their loans. Freelancers who have not paid their loans back (with interest) in the agreed amount of time will find themselves on the Deadbeat List. Life on the List promises to be rather difficult, as Omega Black will pay 25% of any outstanding monies collected from deadbeats to the player who collects the outstanding debt. Given the amount of cash still to be repaid, being an OBE debt collector is a sure way to make some good coin.
Speaking of hard times, today marks the third day of Admiral Mank’s enforced ‘time out’ from Procyon. Life during a ban is not fun, as the admiral recently discovered much to his dismay and embarrasment. With the collapse of the Alliance, the admiral quickly found himself with a great deal of extra time, and he decided to make use of it by taking his new sweetheart, Liberty Navy Ensign Shiela Swallows on a date. Dinner and a movie was the plan. However, due to the ban, his card was rejected at both the restaurant and the cinema, and the two love birds had to settle for a quiet stroll along Manhattan Boulevard. Regardless of how the date turned out, our paparazzi inform us that the admiral looked much happier with Swallows than he did with his previous belle, Lieutenant Commander Spitz.
Also in Liberty news, a new clan announced itself this week, claiming the tag LSF and calling themselves the Liberty Security Force. Although they have yet to register themselves in the clan database, word on the street is they will attack any player caught pirating, taxing or transporting cardamine, artifacts or arms. LSF spokesman Li Bai had this to say:
“Mactan – one slip of moon,
In ten thousand supply depots, the sound of fulling droms.
Solar winds keep on blowing.
All things make me think of the New York-Magellan gate!
When will they put down the pirates
And my good man come home from his far campaign?”
He then toppled forward and collapsed in a drunken heap, giggling.
That’s it for this edition of the Herald. This is Ravenwood, signing off.
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| Li Bai on 01-31-2007 14:05:11 | | |
Wise is the raven,
and powerful his seed.
Alone on the mountain,
as all the true must stand. | | | | |
| Li Hai on 01-31-2007 15:43:08 | | |
Raven's seed is powerful. | | | | |
| November on 02-01-2007 16:07:12 | | |
Ravenwood: Layin' 'em down with mad skills. | | | | |
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